But I Didn’t Mean It That Way

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When I walked off as you laughed
gaily with your newly found friends
“Good for you” I said –
and you looked somewhat hurt.

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When your pet hamster died
And you were apparently disappointed –
“Well you’re not good at caring for anyone other than yourself,
anyway -” and your wistful smile disappeared
and you simply stared into nothing.

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When I said “You suck” as you made a horrible pun –
you giggled at your own sorry excuse for a joke
and everyone could only look at you pitifully
and you suddenly dropped dead quiet and glanced shamefully
at your shoe.

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When I looked at you, looking back at me
separated by this glass wall – and said
“You are nothing,
you can never become anything,
stop dreaming.
Just – stop living.”
I saw your blue eyes lose its colour
and again, you simply stared into nothing.

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When I scorned you when you seemingly joked
about ending it all now –
“You’re never serious” I said – and, again, I walked off –
knowing I’ll see you another day.

But I didn’t mean it that way:
When I said “You idiot” as your pink-glittery flip flops
dangle as you swayed from side to side,
the colourful ties strained as they try to hold your weight
from the empty ceiling – again, I whispered “You idiot..”
as I, along with you, endlessly stare into nothing.

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