Was it yesterday

or is it now

where I put on my mask painted of fakeness

so people wouldn’t notice the devil I embrace behind it

for kindness is the role I played all along

Will it be tomorrow

or is it now

that I will notice my past

has cracked the wall of  pretense

that are built by my fear

turning a loyal servant to a rebellious one

turning honey into venom

Has it been before or

will it be forever

that the whispering of the dead haunts me

with the sins I committed in my life

drowning me into a numb feeling

letting my battle end with the sense of loss

Was I born to be like this or have I chosen to live this way

where being cruel to myself is the only way

I believe I am doing justice to myself


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